Alabaster Jar

Good Friday is one of my favorite holidays

For me, it's usually a day of reflection and meditation on what Jesus did for me over 2,000 years ago. I'll always love Him for it, I'll always love Him for His selflessness and humility. His death on the cross was no doubt the most beautiful, heroic thing ever done, in all of history.

But yesterday, instead of focusing on the death of Jesus during my reading, I was lead to read the whole precession of how He got to the cross, from the last supper all the way up to the tomb.

The Alabaster Jar

As soon as I read Mathew 26:6-13 I was struck with conviction. The  unnamed woman with the alabaster jar of perfume, wasted all of it on Jesus. Just poured it out, dumped it over Jesus's head. The perfume was worth a 'year's wage.' In today's world that's roughly forty thousand dollars.

Forty thousand dollars just poured over Jesus' head with no expectation of return. I assume this bottle of perfume was her most prized possession, she probably had it hidden away in her house somewhere. It probably brought her a great amount of peace and security knowing that she had the equivalent of a year's pay tucked away in her cupboard somewhere in case she ever needed it. 

But suddenly her security wasn't important anymore. This woman, who will be remembered through all of history, was so overwhelmed with love for Jesus that her most prized, most loved possession was worthless in comparison to Him. She poured it out. All of it. She no longer saw her earthly prize as valuable.

 He was now her wealth, He was now her security, He was now her prize.

It really hit me. For obvious reasons like the fact that the thought to just drain out my most prized possessions before Jesus has never even occurred to me. I have thought of giving them to the poor, or to my church but never just to seemingly waste it on Him and Him alone. 

So last night I asked Him to fill me with that kind of love. A love that says all earthly wealth is completely worthless in comparison to Jesus.

Learning to Learn

I'll never be one of those people like..

I'M JUST HIGH ON LIFE, BRO! 

...Every time you ask them how they're doing.

But right now, I'm doing pretty well. Cause I learned this key to being at peace that I've never known before.

I've been asking God what He's trying to teach me every time a problem, stress, or challenge presents itself. Beyond that, I've been asking Him to help me learn it as fast as I possibly can. Because the thing is, sometimes we have to go through things over.. And over.. And over again, before we actually LEARN. And honestly, I'm tired of getting worked up and bothered about the same situations.

So last week I prayed the prayer, "Lord, please help me learn what you're trying to teach me in this season, as fast as possible."

The cool thing about this is that I realized when I'm really looking for whatever I'm supposed to learn, my heart just gets a lot softer toward God. Like, yes, there is a greater plan in all this. Yes, God is working it together for good. Yes, I am going to be better when this ends.

The Kindergarten's still going strong! 

We're going to some kind of horse ranch tomorrow for a field trip which should be extremely fun!

Keep praying for me and for the children. The Lord is faithful!

Trust

Recently in the School

We've been growing in number as we've had two new students begin over the last few weeks, which is a huge blessing from God! The children are still a challenge but I love working with them! 

Over Valentine's week we learned the letter "L" for "Love" and the number two. We came up with some fun craft ideas and ended up making a "Valentine's Hug" for the children to bring home to their parents. 

Basically it's a lot of paper stuck together, but I think they're pretty cute! 

Please continue praying for us here as the teachers! We need it more than anything! 

Pray for wisdom in lesson plans, grace, and patience for every one of the children. 

Lately I'm just being reminded that God is trustworthy and reliable

He has provided for me in every form of the word, my entire life. Not just 'this year' or 'this month,' but literally for as long as I can remember He has kept me and proven Himself to me over and over again. Now, I'm only nineteen, and I know that I don't have an incredible amount of life experience, but as I've shared in previous blogs, I've been through some testing things this last year. Even recently, I've seen some things that most people don't see up close, potentially traumatizing things, but God has kept me, and believe it or not, I'm fine.

This is what's so shocking. If anyone knows me, they know how much fear has ruled me in the past. My lack of trust in God has always kept me so bound and so nervous. But after actually going through some scary things, I don't know. God just showed me that I can deal with them through Him. My outlook is completely different than it used to be. I trust God. 

Everything about my life is different than it was, my focus, my fears, my view of myself, but more than anything else, I'd have to say the major difference is that I've gained a tougher skin spiritually and emotionally.

 By no means have I become calloused, but I've definitely gotten stronger. And I have no one to thank but the Lord. 

Never before have I been able to look at a seemingly hopeless situation and shrug my shoulders saying, "I know God's gonna work it out somehow." Do you know what a blessing it is to really TRUST Him for the first time in my life? I mean He's really there, and He really takes care of His children, like any good father. I can now look at the giants of life and believe that God is going to defeat them. I've never been able to do that before.  

Finally, I'm thankful for the everything I've gone through. So thankful that God didn't spare me from such blessings in disguise. He used all the darkness to show me that He's trustworthy, and there was no other way I could've learned that. Now I can honestly say, if I had a choice between learning what I learned, and experiencing these things, or not experiencing them, and not learning, I would still go through them a second time.

He truly uses everything for the good of those who love Him. 
Romans 8:28

There is so much beauty and hope in struggle. 
If you're going through fire right now, hang on. Because God is faithful even when we're not.

Also, here's a link to a short video of what goes on in normal day for me:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0o0u25wlimw

If you would like to support my ministry financially, you can always send a check to my home address in the States. If you don't have the address, message me and I'd be happy to give it to you! 

Thank you for reading, love you and God bless! 

The Strength of Being Weak

2 Corinthians 12:9 But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, and my power is made perfect in weakness."

As I was praying today, I started just confessing all of my bad attitudes, iniquities and short-comings to the Lord, and eventually the list got so long I was overwhelmed. I know I'm prideful, I know I'm selfish, I know I'm not everything I was created to be. That's just the bottom line  and the ugly truth. If people heard everything that runs through my mind every day, every rude complaint about whoever is getting on my touchy nerves in that moment, and every time I feel like getting up and leaving what God has called me to do, they definitely wouldn't still love me the way that Jesus does. Which I think is why Jesus' love is so unique and beautiful. 

I can't hide anything from God, He knows every single thought, every single ugliness in my heart, every attitude. God knows it all and sees it all for what it is. But the amazing thing is He still calls me His bride. 

Paul said he had some "thorn in the flesh" that he couldn't get removed. He had some kind of weakness that was actually NECESSARY for his relationship with God. It's just amazing to me that God doesn't pressure us to be perfect, He allows us to be weak. Not to go on sinning, but to let His strength and not ours overcome it. 

I'm just so thankful for a God who lets me, and actually encourages me to be weak so that His power can be made stronger. I know that as I continue to give Him my weakness, I will move toward becoming the woman I was made to be.

Also, did you get your tickets to the gun show?    

The Kindergarten: 

Last week I started to understand a lot of what my students go through when they're outside the school, and it broke my heart.

They're such beautiful children and it's an honor for me to help with their education, I love being with them, I love holding them when they cry, I love giving them big hugs in the morning. But please don't be misled in thinking I could emotionally handle this job on my own. I need so much prayer and support from you all and I can't imagine doing something like this without knowing that God is sovereign and has a plan to use every injustice and wrongdoing for good. I know that God loves them so much deeper than I or their parents ever could. And I find so much peace in that. 

If you would like to support my ministry

Please message me for details like my address where you can send a check.

Click the link below to give to my plane ticket home:

http://www.gofundme.com/63wuq4

The Faithfulness of God

2013 has been one of the best, yet one of the hardest years. 

If that makes any sense at all. It's amazing to me that I could have experienced the highest highs of my life, and the lowest lows, all so close together.

This year I've been happier, I've learned more, experienced more things, sorted through more issues, and felt more loved than I ever have before. But somehow, at different points in the year, I've had the worst anxiety, the most gripping fear, the deepest sorrow, and the most terrifying loneliness that I've ever experienced. But through the best and the worst parts of it, God has been faithful. Undeniable, unmatched, unchanging faithfulness, is all that I know when I think about God being my best friend in the entire world. From country to country; good point to bad point; hight to low, God has been there. He's been there when no one else could be. When the people I normally turned to couldn't help, when they were too far away to hold my hand through anxiety attacks and confusion, when they just didn't understand what I was going through, God was there, and He understood.
I always used to tell people "God is faithful." I used to say that like a catchphrase, but it was just Christianese. I didn't know His faithfulness before this year. I didn't understand personally the goodness of the Lord, or His loyalty. But now I've seen it for myself and I can't even begin to describe how thankful I am for the difficult seasons that showed me this.

I hope you'll all continue praying for me! 

Christmas break has been well spent with my dearest friends and "family" in Trinidad. I've been blessed with so many great "Aunties and Uncles" here, and though I'll miss my own family and hometown over the Christmas season, I know this family is one of the greatest blessings from God.
Pray that God keeps me close to him and that homesickness will not be an issue.

Pray against spiritual attack and discouragement.

Please be praying for financial provision as well! A few weeks ago I dedicated my finances to the Lord, and I've been amazed at how every need has been provided for since then. Come June, however, I'll need to purchase a plane ticket home. It costs about $700 and to this point I haven't had the extra finances to start saving for it. I also still owe about $400 on my tuition from the School of Global Leadership, which I completed last year and need to pay off.

If you would like to help me purchase a ticket home or pay for some of my tuition, please message me or leave a comment and I'll let you know how you can help!

I love you all very much, and I'm blown away by the support I've received from my friends and family in the States.

God bless,
Karen

Rest

I gave my first alter call today to a room of 400 people. 
60 raised their hands for salvation, and 150 came forward for prayer. That is a victory I never thought I would see, and I am beyond amazed at God's work. 

But if I can be completely honest with you all, I came home exhausted and grouchy.

The stress of constant activity caught up with me and today, after spending myself thin, I was just finished. I collapsed on my bed and slept for about an hour. After I woke up I realized that I have been looking for rest in the wrong places. Anyone who is in ministry probably will testify that it gets really tiring and it's easy to spend everything you have without refreshing yourself in the Word. So today I just decided to sit. I walked outside to my favorite place on our front deck and just soaked in the Word, without saying anything. Slowly refreshment to my spirit just came, I realized that I can truly find complete and total rest in Christ. The verse that has been resonating in my heart (And ironically the verse I preached on this morning) is

Matthew 11:25-28
"Come to me, all you who are weary and heavy-burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."

His YOKE IS EASY and His BURDEN IS LIGHT.

God is the source of rest, He is the source of peace, and I'm so happy he reminded me of that today. Total and complete peace are found in Him, and I have access to it whenever I am in need. I'm just so thankful and so blessed by the victories and by His refreshment.

I hope you will all continue to pray for me. 

The Lord is obviously working in my life in ways I never even knew He could, and NEED your prayer against attack on my spirit and victory in the kindergarten.
My heart for the children I'm teaching grows more and more every single day, honestly I gush when I talk about them. But I also know that my love for them is not going to be enough. The need to know that God loves them more than I ever will and is the only one who is able to save them.  Please please please pray for those children every time you pray for me.

The Love of God

I used to tell myself that I wasn't a preacher... 
In fact, I used to limit God and say that He could not use me to preach on stage. I thought that because the first few times I got up to speak didn't go so well. However, this last week I've been extremely convicted that I told God what I would and wouldn't do for Him, and he gave me multiple opportunities to share my testimony and a short teaching. I've never felt so confident on stage before, and I completely believe that the confidence came when I stopped relying on my ability and started relying on the Spirit of God. It's amazing what He can actually use us to do when we just stop trying to accomplish His plans in the flesh.

1 Corinthians 12:9
"But He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." 

I also used to tell myself that I 'didn't like' kids.
And then, well... You know what happened. I fell in love with them.

I seriously just wish I could express how deeply I love these children. It breaks my heart that they don't totally understand how much I love them. I want them to succeed, I want them to learn, I want them to have a real, thriving relationship with God some day. And by faith, I know that they will. Despite their circumstances or bad behavior, I commit myself to prayer for them. They are gems and they have so much future awaiting them, so many mistakes to make but even more potential and success to see.

Once again, I have to compare this love to God's. We cannot ever truly know the extent to which He loves us. We can never truly understand the amount of time Jesus spends interceding and fighting for us. Yet even though we can never really understand all these things, and thus never be fully appreciative of them, He continues to do them because His character is such that He's compelled to. 

Romans 8:34

"Who then condemns us? No one. Christ Jesus, who died - more than that, who was raised to life - is at the right hand of God, and is also interceding for us."

I hope you're encouraged by Jesus' love today. I hope you know and see how much He loves you. I know that sounds cliche, I know you've heard it a thousand times. But when you truly find His love, when you truly begin to understand it, nothing in life compares. 

Ephesians 3:17-19

"And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord's holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know His love, that surpasses knowledge -- that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God."

Hope to hear from all of you soon! 

God Bless, 

Karen