The Faithfulness of God

2013 has been one of the best, yet one of the hardest years. 

If that makes any sense at all. It's amazing to me that I could have experienced the highest highs of my life, and the lowest lows, all so close together.

This year I've been happier, I've learned more, experienced more things, sorted through more issues, and felt more loved than I ever have before. But somehow, at different points in the year, I've had the worst anxiety, the most gripping fear, the deepest sorrow, and the most terrifying loneliness that I've ever experienced. But through the best and the worst parts of it, God has been faithful. Undeniable, unmatched, unchanging faithfulness, is all that I know when I think about God being my best friend in the entire world. From country to country; good point to bad point; hight to low, God has been there. He's been there when no one else could be. When the people I normally turned to couldn't help, when they were too far away to hold my hand through anxiety attacks and confusion, when they just didn't understand what I was going through, God was there, and He understood.
I always used to tell people "God is faithful." I used to say that like a catchphrase, but it was just Christianese. I didn't know His faithfulness before this year. I didn't understand personally the goodness of the Lord, or His loyalty. But now I've seen it for myself and I can't even begin to describe how thankful I am for the difficult seasons that showed me this.

I hope you'll all continue praying for me! 

Christmas break has been well spent with my dearest friends and "family" in Trinidad. I've been blessed with so many great "Aunties and Uncles" here, and though I'll miss my own family and hometown over the Christmas season, I know this family is one of the greatest blessings from God.
Pray that God keeps me close to him and that homesickness will not be an issue.

Pray against spiritual attack and discouragement.

Please be praying for financial provision as well! A few weeks ago I dedicated my finances to the Lord, and I've been amazed at how every need has been provided for since then. Come June, however, I'll need to purchase a plane ticket home. It costs about $700 and to this point I haven't had the extra finances to start saving for it. I also still owe about $400 on my tuition from the School of Global Leadership, which I completed last year and need to pay off.

If you would like to help me purchase a ticket home or pay for some of my tuition, please message me or leave a comment and I'll let you know how you can help!

I love you all very much, and I'm blown away by the support I've received from my friends and family in the States.

God bless,
Karen

Rest

I gave my first alter call today to a room of 400 people. 
60 raised their hands for salvation, and 150 came forward for prayer. That is a victory I never thought I would see, and I am beyond amazed at God's work. 

But if I can be completely honest with you all, I came home exhausted and grouchy.

The stress of constant activity caught up with me and today, after spending myself thin, I was just finished. I collapsed on my bed and slept for about an hour. After I woke up I realized that I have been looking for rest in the wrong places. Anyone who is in ministry probably will testify that it gets really tiring and it's easy to spend everything you have without refreshing yourself in the Word. So today I just decided to sit. I walked outside to my favorite place on our front deck and just soaked in the Word, without saying anything. Slowly refreshment to my spirit just came, I realized that I can truly find complete and total rest in Christ. The verse that has been resonating in my heart (And ironically the verse I preached on this morning) is

Matthew 11:25-28
"Come to me, all you who are weary and heavy-burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."

His YOKE IS EASY and His BURDEN IS LIGHT.

God is the source of rest, He is the source of peace, and I'm so happy he reminded me of that today. Total and complete peace are found in Him, and I have access to it whenever I am in need. I'm just so thankful and so blessed by the victories and by His refreshment.

I hope you will all continue to pray for me. 

The Lord is obviously working in my life in ways I never even knew He could, and NEED your prayer against attack on my spirit and victory in the kindergarten.
My heart for the children I'm teaching grows more and more every single day, honestly I gush when I talk about them. But I also know that my love for them is not going to be enough. The need to know that God loves them more than I ever will and is the only one who is able to save them.  Please please please pray for those children every time you pray for me.

The Love of God

I used to tell myself that I wasn't a preacher... 
In fact, I used to limit God and say that He could not use me to preach on stage. I thought that because the first few times I got up to speak didn't go so well. However, this last week I've been extremely convicted that I told God what I would and wouldn't do for Him, and he gave me multiple opportunities to share my testimony and a short teaching. I've never felt so confident on stage before, and I completely believe that the confidence came when I stopped relying on my ability and started relying on the Spirit of God. It's amazing what He can actually use us to do when we just stop trying to accomplish His plans in the flesh.

1 Corinthians 12:9
"But He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." 

I also used to tell myself that I 'didn't like' kids.
And then, well... You know what happened. I fell in love with them.

I seriously just wish I could express how deeply I love these children. It breaks my heart that they don't totally understand how much I love them. I want them to succeed, I want them to learn, I want them to have a real, thriving relationship with God some day. And by faith, I know that they will. Despite their circumstances or bad behavior, I commit myself to prayer for them. They are gems and they have so much future awaiting them, so many mistakes to make but even more potential and success to see.

Once again, I have to compare this love to God's. We cannot ever truly know the extent to which He loves us. We can never truly understand the amount of time Jesus spends interceding and fighting for us. Yet even though we can never really understand all these things, and thus never be fully appreciative of them, He continues to do them because His character is such that He's compelled to. 

Romans 8:34

"Who then condemns us? No one. Christ Jesus, who died - more than that, who was raised to life - is at the right hand of God, and is also interceding for us."

I hope you're encouraged by Jesus' love today. I hope you know and see how much He loves you. I know that sounds cliche, I know you've heard it a thousand times. But when you truly find His love, when you truly begin to understand it, nothing in life compares. 

Ephesians 3:17-19

"And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord's holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know His love, that surpasses knowledge -- that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God."

Hope to hear from all of you soon! 

God Bless, 

Karen

First Week in Trinidad

These children have changed my life. 

Already. And I've only been with them ONE WEEK. But somehow the Lord's put such a love for them in me. It doesn't matter how naughty they are, how misbehaved they act, or how rowdy they get, I still leave the school every day with a huge smile on my face, because let's be honest, it's hard to stay mad at anyone this cute. 

In a nutshell, I'm thrilled to be working at the kindergarten. 

I've also learned so much about God's love for me through them. People have always said how becoming a parent shows you God's heart, but I didn't really understand that statement until this week. I would love to say that these toddlers always do EXACTLY what they're told, WHEN they're told to do it, but that's not realistic. They act up on a daily basis, and somehow my opinion of them doesn't ever change. I don't think they could make me dislike them if they tried!

 As I start to realize this, I'm beginning to understand that that's exactly how God's love is for us. He calls us His children and says we're grafted into His family. That means that in the same way a mother or father loves their children, the Lord loves us. We act up all the time, and His opinion remains the same. He stays loving. He stays patient. He stays kind. Does that mean He never allows us to suffer the consequences of our actions? No. Those children who act up all the time do receive discipline. But the Teacher's heart remains the same, and it's filled to the brim with compassion. 

So this is just a glimpse of what I'm up to and what I'm learning here in Trinidad. I hope to hear from you all soon! 

Love, 

Karen